Co-written by Bryn Jones and Sarah Griffith
For the last two weeks the United States has felt like anything but a place of refuge. Marginalized communities, the planet, and the agencies and organizations that advocate and care for them have been targeted through one executive action after another. It’s hard to imagine that the strategies unleashed by the Administration have been designed to do anything but overwhelm and exhaust, scatter attention and focus, and defuse our collective strength.
You might be feeling fear, panic, anger, rage and/or exhaustion. You might be wondering what is coming next. You might be vacillating between optimism and dread. As the owners of two small businesses dedicated to supporting nonprofit, community-based, and social change leaders, we have not been immune from these feelings. We too know the feelings of fight, flight, and freeze, that sinking feeling in our bodies.
But we are committed to finding strength, courage, and joy on a regular basis so that we can continue working towards a more dignified and vibrant future. We regularly employ a whole toolbox of skills and strategies for finding stability and power even when we feel knocked down. If there has ever been a time to practice what we preach, it is now.
We offer some of those here through the lens of “taking refuge”. We hope that what we share might help you take care for yourself so you can continue to lead with clarity and compassion.
And we invite you to learn more about the Community Leadership Accelerator, a program designed for building new ways of leading for times like these and better times ahead. Can you imagine a time more right for you to root in your own power and the power of community? Join us as we dig into possibilities to resource and thrive.
To join a Community Leadership Information Session on February 11 at 9:00 AM (MST), click here.
What Does Taking Refuge Mean?
Taking refuge is, at its heart, about finding a safe haven, a place of protection and comfort. It’s not about running away or avoiding our problems, but rather recharging and connecting with the sources of strength and wisdom that can help us face our challenges with greater resilience. Taking refuge allows us to ground ourselves, pause to regain our balance, and find the inner resources we need to move forward.
The concept of taking refuge has deep roots in Buddhist traditions, as well as many other religions and spiritual traditions. However, the idea of seeking sanctuary in times of trouble is universal and can be found throughout the world and traditions.
Taking refuge is particularly important for leaders and people choosing to care for others. Without places of refuge, you may exhaust your own resources and struggle to offer support, guidance, or accompaniment to others.
Taking refuge can take many forms. What we offer here is not an exhaustive list but instead what we know ourselves and what the leaders we work with share about cultivating refuge. At any time of day, in any place, we can take refuge somewhere — in our bodies, our communities, our natural world, our sense of possibility, vision and purpose, and our power of choice.
For each place of refuge, we offer practices to:
- cultivate awareness of what is happening within us,
- allow it to be there without fighting ourselves,
- find momentary reprieve, and
- gain strength to move forward.
By intentionally returning to these refuges, we can recharge, resource, and strengthen ourselves for facing the challenges head-on.
Taking Refuge in the Body
Connecting to the body can support us in making space for our feelings and needs and addressing them with the care and attention they call for. It is also immediately available to anchor us at any given moment.
- Cultivating awareness: Slow down enough to notice what your breath and heartbeat are like, where you might have tension in your body, and what sensations are coming up. If you are having trouble slowing down, bring your attention to the environment around you, noticing colors, textures, light, shapes and let your attention land on something pleasant.
- Allowing without fighting: Simply notice what is arising in your body. Name it or give a simple nod, even if you don’t have the words. Allow it to be there as it is without trying to fix it. See if you can make space for it by relaxing around it. If the sensation feels too much, try bringing your breath to it see if you can create some space around it. It can also be helpful to get a little distance from the sensation by saying, “I’m sensing a part of me feels …”
- Finding momentary reprieve: Draw your attention to places in your body that feel neutral or peaceful. Feel your feet on the floor, your chair holding you up. Allow your exhale to be longer than your inhale. Let yourself just rest into these areas of support. Bring self-compassion to the moment, be kind, caring, and gentle to yourself. What you are experiencing is a human response to a difficult situation.
- Gaining strength to move forward: Feel the warmth of your touch. Place your hands over your heart or on your face. Give yourself a hug. Envision and practice what power would feel like in the body. Embody that posture or pose. Move your body — dance, exercise, walk. Know that the body is always there as a refuge for you to come back to.
Taking Refuge in Community
We cannot face these challenges alone, yet what we’re experiencing can have us feeling isolated and lonely. The refuge of community can bolster our sense of interconnectedness and support.
- Cultivating awareness: Brainstorm who might be helpful to connect to. Maybe it’s someone who is experiencing the situation similarly and can empathize. Maybe it’s someone who can buoy you, perhaps because they’re resourced or experiencing things differently. Maybe it’s a trusted mentor, advisor, or coach. Maybe it’s a group or event. Ask yourself, “what could feel like a refuge to me?”
- Allowing without fighting: Community can be a place to share and a place to listen. Understanding more about what you need can help you identify what kind of community you are seeking. If you are seeking to understand, bring curiosity and openness. If you are seeking to be heard, invite vulnerability and openness. Allow what surfaces to be as it is without fixing or solving. Name what is.
- Finding momentary reprieve: Appreciate the nourishment you can find in community with others. Bask in the real human connection that comes through joy, laughter, tears, anger, and sadness. Feel the freedom that comes when respect, love, and dignity are offered and shared.
- Gaining strength to move forward: Feel the strength that comes from knowing you are not alone. Build/maintain a network of authentic friends/peers who can offer support. Join or create a support group for shared challenges. Look for opportunities to share and collaborate.
Taking Refuge in the Natural World
Shifting perspectives and connecting with nature can offer rest, reprieve, and solace, a different place of interconnectedness.
- Cultivating awareness: Whether you live in the city or country, nature is all around; where can you connect with nature? Maybe it’s a plant, a pet, the sun as it comes up each day. Notice the change in light, the natural rhythms of the day. Step outside to breathe deeply. Look up at the stars. Notice the colors, shapes, smells, sounds of the natural world all around you.
- Allowing without fighting: Notice how nature continues its course despite our internal and external struggles. Accept the changing seasons as a metaphor for life’s transitions. Imagine yourself in the larger natural context and feel how small and interconnected we all are.
- Finding momentary reprieve: Take brief nature breaks during the workday to notice, even if just looking out a window. Practice experiencing nature through the 5 senses: touch, sound, sight, taste, smell. Breathe it in. Dwell in the beauty of natural light, the shapes and textures of plants, the feel of the sun. Dance or play in the rain or snow.
- Gaining strength to move forward: Use nature as inspiration for problem-solving and creativity. Draw on the resilience of natural systems as a model for personal growth, the ever-changing nature of the natural world, and yourself as part of that. Engage in outdoor activities that challenge and invigorate you.
Taking Refuge in Possibility, Vision, and Purpose
During times of stress, we can find ourselves feeling disempowered and helpless. With our attention focused on putting out constant fires, we can forget what inspires us. And it can sometimes feel as if what we’re going through is permanent with no chance of change or possibility.
- Cultivating awareness: Reflect on where you are putting your energy and attention. Are you more focused on the problems or the possibility? Are you trying to make something that is uncertain certain? What is energizing or draining you? Notice where there are signs of progress towards a greater vision.
- Allowing without fighting: It is easy to be consumed by the things going wrong. We all have a negativity bias and we’re wired to give more attention to what threats us (real or not). Acknowledge the bias in action. Embrace uncertainty as part of the journey towards a greater vision. Balance your worst-case with best-case scenarios.
- Finding momentary reprieve: Envision the future you are seeking to create. Invoke creativity—draw, dance, sing, or otherwise— to express a version of this possibility. Bask in this vision in community with others. Celebrate that which has not yet unfolded, or the sprouts of that which is to come.
- Gaining strength to move forward: Use your vision and purpose as a compass for decision-making in challenging times. Give energy and resources to that which you are calling into being. Break your vision down into actionable steps and goals. Identify decision points that help you check in on progress along the way.
Taking Refuge in the Power of Choice
Here we focus on cultivating optimism, choice, and the possibility of hope. Acceptance does not mean passivity. Here we turn towards aligned action.
- Cultivating awareness: Practice mindfulness to become aware of decision-making patterns. Are you making decisions from a place of fear or choice, possibility or stress? Notice when you feel empowered vs. constrained in your choices. Notice if you believe you have no choice or are in an either/or situation.
- Allowing without fighting: Acknowledge where you are feeling powerless and believing that you don’t have choice. Give yourself some space to take a step back. Accept that not all choices will have clear outcomes or be the perfect decision. Open to the possibility that things might take shape differently than expected (and leave room for that being a good thing). Offer yourself compassion.
- Finding momentary reprieve: Brainstorm all the options you can imagine. Find a peer, colleague, friend, or thought partner to widen the choices available. Include in the list even the options you don’t like; you can still find agency and power when you see that you have a choice, even if they aren’t all perfect or even preferable. Take breaks during complex decision-making processes and sleep on it when you need more time to process.
- Gaining strength to move forward: Call on your values to guide you; your long-term goals. Develop steps that help you identify options and make decisions so that you have a process to follow when you are feeling stressed. Practice gratitude for the choices available to you. Embrace the power and responsibility that comes with freedom of choice. Engage in activities that reinforce your sense of agency.
Integrating the Refuges
As nonprofit, community-based, and social change leaders, our ability to weather storms and lead with awareness and compassion is crucial. By taking refuge in our bodies, our communities, nature, our sense of possibility, vision and purpose, and our power of choice, we not only sustain ourselves but also contribute to creating more resilient and compassionate organizations and communities. Grounded in these refuges, leaders can experience and model:
- Embodied Leadership: Bringing somatic awareness into your leadership style and enhancing your presence and effectiveness.
- Purpose-Driven Action: Aligning your daily activities and organizational strategies with your core vision and purpose.
- Collective Resilience: Fostering a culture of mutual support and shared purpose within your organization and broader community.
- Conscious Empowerment: Making choices that reflect your values and vision, even in the face of overwhelming challenges.
- Interconnected Relating: Recognizing that we are all in this together and seeing how many perspectives can widen our understanding and choices.
In these challenging times, remember that the act of taking refuge is not about escaping reality, but about finding the strength and resources to face it with greater ease and effectiveness. As we cultivate these practices, we become better equipped to serve our missions, support our teams, and create positive change in the world, even in the face of overwhelm.
To learn more about the Community Leadership Accelerator and a new set of tools for leading, click here.